My Sordid Truth
Growing up I was a major can’t-live-without-it-meat junkie. Very little has changed, actually, it’s just that now I am better at lying about it and have devised a number of techniques for evading questions about my meat-loving-obsessions. The truth is, though, that I simply must have a steak if a steak is on the menu. I love it, will always love it, and never want things to be any other way.
What I love about meat is…well, everything about it: the fat, the gristle, the bits that are nice and juicy, and especially the crackling on them most beloved pork chops! I love the way that meat smells when it’s raw and bloody. I love the first bite and the last one when you think you’re about to pass out you have eaten so much meat…I love it all. I think by now I have demonstrated that, no?
For these reasons, life is hard when I come across these so-called vegetarians who think that eating meat is somehow wrong. I just don’t know what to make of them and their opinions: are they really actually for real? Or is this all just one big sick joke that every single person in the world – except me, of course – is in on?
this, my friend, is where I start talking about how I tried some vegetable-based food…
One of the hardest things about being a meat lover these days is when you get invited round a friend’s house to eat vegetarian recipes . This may sound trivial to the person who just likes meat quite a bit, but to someone like me – someone who adores their meat – it’s a disaster. The whole time you just sit there staring at this so-called ’food'hoping that somehow, inexplicably, it’ll just turn itself inside out into meat…
But it never does. Never. No matter how hard you stare at it.
And this is where my article takes a turn for the worst, because this, my friend, is where I start talking about how I tried some vegetable-based food and I liked it. I liked it a lot…
I feel guilty just typing these words. Guilty for the steak in the fridge and the traitor I am. But the truth is this: I am capable of eating a vegetable curry and I will eat this in the future!
There I said it. And if anyone who knows me reads this blog post I will have a lot to answer for, I can tell you!
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