Potato Paul

Actually, Don’t

Us English and our abstract obscure expressions, eh? We’re probably no worse than other countries for making up these ridiculous statements (actually, we’re probably a lot better: I hear some countries have saying that are not only obscure, they are downright offensive too!), but still, a long time ago it does seem like one or two people were a bit bored and wasting their time when they should have been out there raping and pillaging or whatever it was they More

Don’t Put Up With It!

If you know me and my potato face, you’ll know that when I go on a bit of a rant, it usually ends up being more than just a bit of a rant. Actually, that’s an understatement. Sometimes, if I feel really strongly about something, I end up doing what my friends call, “doing a Rambo”. It starts off all mild-mannered and everything, and before long I’m really going for it!

That said, really going for it is the only More

Why I Hate Driving Behind Teenage Drivers

Now after doing an apple mac repair I was heading home and found myself behind a teenage driver–boy what an experience. Hate is a really strong word, reserved for intense dislike of something. I don’t use that word a lot, but I will use it to say that I hate driving behind teenage drivers.

I was once a teenage driver, too, many years ago, and I imagine older drivers hated driving behind me More

Choice Gone Haywire!

I sort of miss the olden days when the choice of things was much more limited. I know that sounds utterly daft, and also makes me sound like a ninety year old man who refuses to have a telephone or running water installed, but I just can’t help it: choice baffles me, and with the internet and everything, it takes me about ten times as long to decide on buying something than it used to.

Back when you could go More

Paul’s Advice: Turn Things Upside Down

Just like a potato face, loads of other things can benefit a great deal from being turned upside-down. One of them is when you take a situation that looks PANTS CAPITAL P and think of it a bit differently. Stop looking at things so negatively, I say, and start being positive. Here are a few situations where I have done precisely this and things have worked out fine!

1) Burnt toast: I despise burnt toast, I really properly do I More

Essential DJ Equipment

Almost any one young and old, even with their hair loss treatment, who really enjoys music dreams of one day becoming a disc jockey, as being a DJ is perceived to be the ultimate hip job, doing something that one really likes to make a living. It is also seen to be an easy way to earn money doing something as easy as spinning discs in the loud and frenetic world so loved by youngsters; and being able to More

My Face, Your Face

Paul Potato face here, people, and today I am about to talk about something which has been bugging me for a while. The subject? Where cosmetic surgery is heading. Something that is very disturbing, when you really start to analyse it…

I probably would never have got to thinking about this, had I not sat right next to a woman who was on her phone about her next face-lift appointment. It was on the bus and as she spoke I More

Paul’s Wish List

I Wish…

My wish list. I wish-Iwish-Iwish…

1) I had an actual Potato face. Maybe not potato, as that might be a bit of a pain – after all these years my face would stink something rotten and I’d probably have to regularly snip the green growth that protrudes violently from my ears – but something similar. That way I could just arrange my face to suit. This would make smiling easier and less effort. Simply put the smile in More

Watch This If You Like A Bit Of Drama

Last night, after a day of doing essentially nothing – other than marvelling at an at home paternity test on The Jeremy Kyle Show and wondering what I would eat for my dinner, as the fridge was looking horrifyingly empty and my legs had absolutely zero interest in leaving the comfy safety of the sofa – I decided to sit down and watch A Room For Romeo Brass. It’s one of Shane Meadows'(This Is England, Dead Man’s Shoes) first films More

My So Called Friend

It’s me again, Paul Potato Face, but you should know that. After all, you probably awoke this morning and immediately thought “I must visit Paul Potato Face’s blog at once, for it’s been too long already!” A bit of wishful thinking never hurt anyone, me thinks.

Now, today’s blog post is a combined one about the power of practical jokes and friends who aren’t funny. And also a bit about computer virus protection.

You see, the other day my friend More